Personal questions
I started a new job this week and on the official channels I am still listed with my deadname and assigned gender. Meh. Luckily another person with the same name as my legal name started on the same day, so I could be all sneaky and just tell my team, "Ah, that's going to be confusing! Just call me [new masc name], everyone calls me that :)" Everyone caught on and I was pretty happy with how the situation played out.
Fast forward to this morning. Slack pings, I have a message from the team lead:
"Hi [new masc name], can I ask you a personal question?"
Cue panic. OMG. WTF. What do I do? Come out or deflect, come out or deflect? Aaaaaaa!
"Sure, go ahead."
"Yeah, [new masc name], I'm visiting your country for New Years? Can I as a tourist get vaccinated there? My preferred vaccine is not available where I live....."
... which is when I slammed my head into the desk. Goddamnit! I'm really glad that it all worked out and that I don't have to work with antivaxxers either, but I had already started my day with a coffee and two Ritalins. I didn't need any more adrenaline in the first hour of the workday 🤣🤦♂️
disgustingly speaking, there are people who give a shit about certain things.
I think that if someone does not hurt anyone and pays taxes, it is okay :)
and the way you pee it doesn't matter :)
the hell we make up in our heads is always the most scary of them all. In My observation,most people really don't give a damn. they might probably not even wonder whats in your pants. and those who would, who gives a fuck? And since you can't avoid any of the future about to happen,cross that bridge when you come to it. There is always enough Time for Panic,.so no need to be afraid in advance ;-)
the only person to whom you have to explain your gender is the doctor. because it could make a difference. I mean some drugs, hormones or something.
i have to agree with oneeyed here, what we fear most is often not that likely to happen (thank god... or which deity you prefer) (-:
We have a trans person in our study program, and since it is a technical university i already feared the worst for her, a lot of people are kinda conservative there.
Turns out, everyone in the study program did juyt roll with it, like from one day to the other people were just like "yep she's a woman now" and respected and perceived her as that. also she was receiving a lot of support, when she wrote some of the professors to tell them that her name has changed (-:
Yeah, when I came out, I did a company wide q&a to get it out of everyone's system. For me it was better to face those questions than have people making up their own stories.
And they were all so nice and interested.
Today when a new employee starts, I don't say anything and they just roll with the pronouns everyone uses for me, but I'm not hiding it either.
I guess when you are starting a new job it's another kind of scary, but I had really good experiences in university and my employment.
As long as they are not fanatic anti-trans people, most are astonishingly chill with this - even if they are more on the conservative side of the spectrum.
@manxx -
it's a great idea!
if I could ask a million questions. not out of boorishness but out of curiosity.
I am fascinated by the process of making such a decision.
@ all - thank you for the support, peeps! This has been a rollercoaster and I'm not sure I'm off of it yet. 🤣
remember that you are human.
and don't throw up on the rollercoaster XD
@djlangley - this is a solid piece of advice I can/should internalize XD
@oneeyed - my private Kopfkino is always showing some bullshit low-budget production of my own making lol. I don't pass, it shouldn't matter, but I'm so conscious about it that in my head it grows to something so much more important than it is. I want a break from my head lol
@manxx The Q&A session is such a brilliant idea! I wish I had thought of that when I came out to my sports team. Only one person took me up on the offer to answer questions, and for the rest I think they are all still creating narratives in their heads.
@noxeo I am glad it turned out well for your friend and she receives the support she needs :) University is great environment to go through this. Everybody's curious and changing. I really regret not going through with transition when I was researching it at uni. Instead i got so scared that I stuck myself right back in the closet and stayed there for almost 20 years. Great decision-making skills lol!