Today I am so grateful for my partner's perfect act of allyship, by itself, but also in contrast to just six months ago when we were on the verge of divorce.

Today I needed to see a doctor and was really stressing out, because it was not our usual family doctor but a substitute - one with whom I've had negative experience in the past. Already during the triage on the phone I felt condescended to and my pain dismissed, so when it was time to go for my appointment I decided that I didn't have the energy to also possibly have to explain my gender situation. So I decided to dress femme *sigh*

Just as I was about to leave, my partner walked by, took one look at me and asked shocked, "What the hell are you wearing?" I explained. Then he took me by the shoulders, marched me back inside and said, "Listen, you're already in pain and you're anxious because you expect a hostile encounter. How on earth do you think you're going to advocate for yourself if you're also dressed in a way that is distressing to you? Take these off and dress like the confident and assertive man that you've been working on becoming!" I did and he was like, "Well! Isn't that loads better?"

And it was. I did go to my appointment calmer, handled things well and got the care and medication I needed. And I honestly don't think I would have managed without the dressing down (pun intended) my partner gave me. I am grateful for him, for his intervention, and doubly grateful for long way he's gone from exploding and humiliating me at every sign of masculity to actually having my back. He is my fucking rock.