Dopamine
The mind is a weird place.
What I want:
to go on a bender. Spend a week drinking nothing but vodka until I can't walk, can't think, am out of myself. Go on Tinder and fuck five different people on five consecutive days, the more humliating the better. Eat nothing but Oreo ice cake.
What I do instead:
I meditate at least once a day. I eat an entirely reasonable potion of chips instead of faceplanting into the bag. I voluntarily wake up at 5:30 in order to have some quiet time to exercise. I cook reasonably balanced meals for me and my partner, who may or may not divorce me because of my gender, but until that future point I still have vowed in front of four old ladies in a municipality that I would make sure he puts a vegetable in his face at least once a day, until death do us part, because I love him. I listen to music on way higher volume than necessary.
I haven't drunk, smoked or had the urge to fuck everything that moves in 10 years (that's a rough average. 15 for smoking, 10 for drinking, 8 for fucking everything that moves). I am objectively in a much better place, more stable, with a lot more ability to regulate my emotions. And I don't actually want to do any of these things. 99.9% of the time I am really happy with the choices I make now. It's just that right now I really wish I could just get that overwhelming dopamine deluge, even if it means I crash, rather than the manageable stready trickle at my disposal. Old coping mechanisms have burnt a neural pathway, and I can miss them even when I don't really want them.
The mind is a weird place.
Omg...i understand that, this divided feeling so much. But i always think, that is awlasy something like that, divided in two ín human nature generally. Maybe was you reading Erich Fromm?
Yes, there is always duality. I'm not particularly concerned about it, as I used to be. As long as I remember that there are shades of gray between the extremes. Dialectical thinking :)
Fromm had always been on my list but I never got round to him. Any particular work you have in mind?
Yes:) I mean...Fromm now is kind of "old" in psychology, but still he can explain a lot of human mechanisms. And i love how he is developing some of Freud ( bleh) theory in this work.
https://books.google.is/books/about/The_Anatomy_of_Human_Destructiveness.html?id=hw2NAAAAMAAJ&redir_esc=y
Thank you! I've put it on my list :D