Something I just realised: while I normally speak or think of myself, I use he and masculine grammatical structures. However, whenever I am criticising myself, I switch to she, feminine words/grammar, call myself fem-coded slurs, I use my deadname. Basically, my inner voice not only bullies me most of the time, but also misgenders me routinely. Rude! lol

But there is a positive. I've always had trouble realizing when I'm being unreasonably critical of myself and shutting down that irrational voice. Now I have a pretty clear cue to tell me that my self-criticism has gone beyond what is proportionate to the situation and has gone into beating-myself-up territory.

It also makes it easier to tell myself in some situations, "Okay, that's not real, that's trauma talking." Like when I start spiraling because someone hasn't answered a message that I fear was more personal and my inner voice starts to scream that they must hate me and that I should brace for conflict and better start apologizing for my entire existence.